SICK

SICKSICKSICKSICK.
I can't believe I'm sick again!!
argh.
I think I'm missing him far too much.
Maybe, that's why!
I'm lovesick.
Where are you when I need you most right now? ='(

Hmms. Can't blame him. He's got his own life. Sobs. Don't lyke having a fever. My temp din go down! It went UP! argh. I need him around. ='( hais. Tml got maths mock exams. I'm so goin to flunk it. Wus so busy doing sum dumb stuffs which sumone wun even appreciate. N I didn't get to study much. Sianned. Hopefully, I would die of a fever tonight. Save me the trouble of doing so many things. Save me the trouble of going to school to flunk my paper. haish. I'm becoming sadistical. This is bad.

`FIVE MORE DAYS. I don't think you even rmb.. =(

Peanut attacks !!!

Hees. I know my title shows kinda ridiculous. Haha. Shall tok about it lata. haha. Am feeling quite sick right now. Yups. Am sick again. Been lacking rest, I guess. Plus the dumb rain! argh. Urms in case aneone is wondering why am I blaming the rain.. I'm a lazy person whu hates to bring an umbrella along with me even if my bag is relatively empty. *grins*

Anewaes. Went school early in the morn fer Geog. Urms. I got to sit beside Peipei's 'good sister' aka Scritchy Scratchy. Opps =X Alrights. I'm evil lahs. But I really got real tramautised lahs. So much so that I wus having a psychological reaction. Argh. Oh mans. I felt as though I wus going to jus yell at her in the end of geog lect lahs. Or just turn to my side n slapped her in the face. Sheesh. I feel bitchy. Geog lect wus relatively ok lahs. Managed to get thru it with little difficulty; in fact, I wus paying attention most of the time except fer short moments when I turned n whined at Flor. haha. Poor Flor. =P

Hmms. Sat ard while toking to Clement. Don't why I trust him alot. haha. He's a great fren, I guess. haha. hmms. Purposely took my time in strolling to my extra lesson venue. I wus the oni one frm the klass. Poor Xin. haha. BUT! CHIA wus late lahs. Waited ard 15 mins. Time wus rather well-spent 'cause I wus playing soccer on my hp. It's addictive n great game! haha. Extra lesson wus boring. Felt so sleepy lahs. Wus practically resisting the urge to dozing off but CHIA wus right in front of me. All I cld do is to scribble on my notes while keeping awaking. Hees.

Went to look fer hellmate n flor in the canteen. First time see Hellmate so excited to eat lunch with me. She must be starving lorhs. haha. Studied awhile. Den fooled ard when Sanjay came n joined us. Den Gimsiong n helmi came as well. Tsk. Distractions! hmms. But we had fun lorhs. Crapping and all. haha. I practically didn't study after that lorhs. Oh yarhs. Played Bridge with Black, Helmi, one indian guy. Its so addictive lahs. I won quite abit. Beginner's luck. I can't believe I finally learnt the game!! *so happy* Flor wus busy toking on the phone while peipei wus watching us. As flor wus a distance away, we started attacking her with peanuts. haha. So funny lahs. Then, I suddenly said to my comrades that I am goin to demo a headshot. haha. And I hit flor right on the forehead with the peanut. haha. *a sense of achievement* Peipei joined in the game after the indian guy left and got really addicted. haha. Both of us were. haha. We won quite abit together. SO happy. The two experienced ones losing to newbies. wahaha. =DDD Left school ard 7 plus before Gerald Boh cums about. But then again, its really okay lahs. He's alrdy a fren of mine. He will give me face de lahs. Or perhaps he will even join in lahs.

Alrights. This is a rather crappy entry. haha. Gona go off liaos. Need a rest badly. =(

`I wus worried. Dead worried. ='(

060606

060606
Thats the date of todae.
So unique rights?
Its oni cums once in a lifetime. And I got to spend it with flor *my great buddy*, peipei *my gorgeous hellmate* n leen *my kboxing cum swimming buddy*.
It's such a happy happy n great day!! =DD

Alrights. We went to watch The Omen. Great movie. I said so 'cause it wus better than what I had expected lahs. I had very bad expectations of it. But it didn't bore me to sleep. So that's one good thing, I guess? There wus thrill, suspense, abitbit of gross scenes. But overall, it's acceptable by my standard. At least, I didn't think I wasted money on my movie ticket. It wus a great horror comedy fer me, I must say. haha. Alrights. Kidding. haha. Memorable movie *satisfied look*

Met celestine in sch fer the second time this week. And got reminded that I hafta to meet up with her real soon. haha. Haish. I'm really a bad fren. Keep neglecting my good frens. Think will meet up with her, boon n the rest fer a catching-up session this fridae bahs. But, cum to think of it, there is cellgroup on fridaes. Urms. But then again, I am changing church lers. So, it wldnt do much harm if I skipped it rights? haha. Shall think it thru before I decide bahs.

Gona go study maths lers. Must start mugging!! Oh. Anewaes, duno if dear will see this. Good luck fer your econs test tml. =)

`you complete my life.

Would you rather. . .?

Would you rather choose
a) A guy who loves you more than you love him,
b) A guy whom you love more than he loves you?

Sumone just asked me this. Such chiminology. *slaps forehead* And my answer? haha. I don't need a guy who loves me more than I love him. But of course, that would be best lahs! haha. hmms. As fer a guy whom I love more than he loves me? Urms.. its alrights fer me bahs. But if I were to choose? Urms..Of course having a guy who loves you more wld be more blissful, i guess. ;) But then, love can't be quantified. Its unmeasurable. haha. I'm crapping as usual. Its not abt who loves who more, I guess? Its more of a mutual thing bahs. haha. *blehs*

Hmms. I realised that I haf got alot of movies that I want to watch!! haha. I wana watch theomen,silenthill,benchwarmers,garfield2,she'stheman,slither,xmen3,toofasttoofurious-tokyodrift,cars!!!! ahh.. But then, duno why, I don't seem to haf the mood fer movies lehs. Contradictory again. haha. Weird me. =(

`i miss you real bad. . .

Boring Weekend

I can't believe that I actually stayed home fer the whole day today. haha. Too bad, no one asked me out. *shrugs* I'm quite back to being myself again ler, i guess? haha. hmms. Must thank my beloved boyfren fer staying up to cheer me up even though he wus darn sleepy. Haha. So sorry to deprive you of your sleep. =) *hugx* you're the best ler.. =)

Din do much today. Boyfren's away. N no one wans to date me out. Oh wells. Its a lonely saturday. And I spent it obediently at home. haha. My parents were shocked to see me home on a weekend *blehs* haha. Hmms. Am really looking forward to tomorrow!! haha. Heex.. Think is the first outing I am goin out wif the ogls bahs. Oh mans. I haf been so anti-social recently. But, yups, a miracle has happened as zhao said. haha. =) Its gona be a whole lot of fun!! *wheeee!!*

Gona turn in pretty early todae, i guess. hmms. But before that, I am goin out fer dinner first. =DD tata~

tiring tiring day . . .

Just reached home not long ago. Tired. Totally worn out. Haha. Went sch early in the morn fer geog lect. Wus late 'cause I took the wrong bus. haha. Got the good news that tml no lect. So happy that I cldn't concentrate. Haha. Went lotone fer MAC breakfast wif flor n leen. Den slacked ard wif them till leen's mummie finally got back to us, allowing us to use her place to continue slacking. Haha. But FLOR PANGSEH-ed us lahs. *hmmphs* You're NOT forgiven. *hmmphs* Leen's place is full of fun. haha. Her little sis is so cute n sociable!! haha. Yups. Fooled ard fer quite abit n both me n leen just fell aslp on the floor. heex. ANd got videoed by her little sis. Sheesh. Den when we woke up, we played the piano awhile den went to watch abit of tv. Left her home oni when leen went fer her haircut. Went home alone. *sobx* Met Linn on the bus to the mrt n saw rhoda too. Both stil as sweet n pretty. haha.

Den DUMBASS junwei had to msg me n tell me tt he spoilt my guitar : "ehh.. I made a hole in ur guitar." Oh my tian lahs. He really is a dumbass. N I just replied him coldly, " oh ok.." Den he told me he wus just kidding with me. What the hell lahs. Not funny lorhs. True lahs, I dun play my guitar anemore but stil gt gan qing one mahs. haha. And that kuku din tell me that he wanted a classical one. DUMBASS PIGGY YAP!

Tml might be goin out. See lorhs. Hopefully can go shopping. Heex. =D Stil kinda sick.. *shrugs* Immune is down again. I dun lyke this week!! So packed!! I need a break!! =( *but I'm looking forward to dinner on Sunday!*

Happy Birthday to Me

I wld lyke to announce that I haf the best bdae ever! The most memorable, greatest, most interesting n fun bdae ever!! =D

Special thanks fer ppl whu wished me.. a big big thank yew to :von,ster,flor,boon,mydearest jer, shanshan, junhao, suxian, jh kor, sengpeng, ebo, peipei, eileen, rhoda, linn, weelun, mag, ade, nessa, helmi, evon, wquan n eric.. thanks fer rmbing =)

Special special thanks fer PRF.. thanks fer making my bdae celebration so memorable. haha. thanks quackiex. -__- oh wells.. Reali love the collage n gift.. n esp the celebration. U all have brought so much joy n laughters into my life. I am reali grateful to God fer good frens lyke you all.. abab loves u all=D

Special special thanks to von n shaofen. thanks fer the nice bracelet. heex. its reali veri nice. I so hapi to receive it lahs. Got stars nehs!! =D love ya all. n thanks von fer the nice memories booklet.. its so sweet of you lorhs.. I love you!! =D

Special special thanks to minghong, ster n von ... thanks fer walking the BIG walk wif me. haha.. thanks fer the accompany thruout.. thanks fer the wonderful surprise.. its reali pleasant.. N i am really touched.. I love you all!! =D

Special special thanks to ebo! thanks fer being a great company. hmms. thanks fer the treats n gifts. haha. I feel so bad fer having you spend so much.. =( anewaes. I reali had lotsa fun.. the movie rawks lahs. haha. thanks fer putting a smile on my face even though, I am so shagged. I will always rmb what u said to me..=)

Special special thanks to Jer.. thanks fer taking the trouble to meet me.. Sory fer having you shorten ur KL trip. urms. yups.. thanks fer spending time wif me.. hais.. too bad, time just flew past so quickly before I knew it.. yups.. thanks alot.. you gav a happy ending to my bdae.. =D I love euu.. =)

lastly.. just wana say.. THANK YEW!!

ps: more details n pics will be up tml.. got so many nice pics.. weeeeeeeee~ i love you all !!=D *hugs*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR=D

Oh wells. todae's my dear's bday. happy birthday to him once again. hmms. Oh wells. He's too busy enjoying himself wif his frens again. hmms. oh wells. Can't blame him. Its his day. *shrugs* =) hmms.

Todae just sucks. Gees. My poor jc1s hafta help the concert band put chairs n remove them. hmms. Sorry eileen. Not that I dun enjoy wrking wif you. But I dun lyke to do such SAI KANG wrk. N whats worse is that all of us merely got sabo-ed! argh. Hmms. And what do we get frm all this? Pathetic CIP hrs. oh wells. If we needed CIP hrs, we can organise more interesting things lorhs. And if the job is badly done, we get all the blames. How great! =( Dun lyke. Dun lyke. argh. Ther goes my weekend. argh.

Am so so so so sick. I think I m losing my voice. argh. haish. This sucks lahs. hmms. =( sobs. anewaes, gona thank ebo fer comforting me. you rawkx. hmms. thanks alot. =) thanks fer making my dae alittle beta. haha. Gona go rest lers. haven been resting enuff lately. Been too busy. argh. =( I need retail therapy!! But I heard that friday I've got rehearsal?!! @!#%!%@$@ argh. I'm dying of stress n depression. I need retail therapy. BADLY!! =(

`Off to bed liaos. =(

I PONNED SCHOOL TODAE!!

Before I start on my post...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JER! *though its few hrs earlier*

Alrights. Done. Yups. I ponned school todae. Fer my dear. haha. Heard that half the class ponned sch too. Geez. Its becuming the klas's trend lers. Tsktsktsk. Can't believe this bunch of us are taking the A lvls in a few mths' time. >.<

Oh wells. Hmms. Woke up darn early todae. Haha. All the msges. haha. Cldnt go back to slp. haha. Hmms. Dear called me when he woke up before he went sch fer miting. Den I went out ard one plus to go get cake fer him. heys. I rmbed to bring a lighter!! haha. So proud of myself. Heex. Passed him everything in the car. Argh. Sang bdae song fer him too even though I had a bad throat todae. Duno whether he's touched or nts. haha. hmms. Oh wells. Yups. Went watch Poseidon n MI 3.. Nt bad lahs. Its been sum time since I watched movies wif dear. hmms.. yups. I enjoyed myself todae. Perhaps.. more than he did. *grins*

Hmms. Oh yarhs. My PE teacher called me halfway thru MI3. But I din noe whu she is. Until the end of the call.. then both of us realised whu we were toking to. haha. So funny lahs. Aneways. Gona get real busy liaos.. hmms.. The club is involved in College Day. *gosh*

`i noe what i wan fer my bdae lers - fer you to spend it wif me . . .

a lesson fer the guys

I found this on my friendster's account. And found to be rather meaningful n true..

A lot of guys don't know, girls can flare their temper on them, but when the girls turn back, they are actually crying.
A lot of guys don't know, girls won't really get angry with them, because they really love and care about them.
A lot of guys dont know. girls will only nag at the guys they love, and will only be stubborn to the guys they love.
Guys must know, if the girl don't love you, she won't even care about you and nag you, she does so cos she is afraid you will do the wrong stuff.
Guys must know, if the girl don't love you, she won't even vent her anger on you, won't act cute infront of you and won't let you dote her because infront of other people,
she is just nothing much.
Guys must know, if the girl don't love you, you won't even have the ability to make her cry, even ifyou cause her to be angry for you for more than 2days.
All these is because she loves you, and all these is because you don't really understand and careabout her.
So, if the both of you often quarrel, you will think she has got bad temper, and she will think youdont give in to her.
So, if the both of you often get into cold war, you will think she dont love you, and she will think you dont care about her.
So, both of you always ridiculously missed each other,
maybe missing each other is a type of saddening helplessness and happiness.
Because she loves you, that is why she vents her anger on you and often cute in front of you.
Because she loves you, that is why she will get angry with you.
And because she loves you, she won't be angrywith you for a long period of time.
Do you guys know, every girl's heart is made of crystals, flashy but easily broken.
Do you guys know, every girl don't build a wallaround herself, you easily land inside her heart andleft wounds when you leave.
Every girl doesn't know, in this world, no one can make her cry,
because the person who is worthy of her tears won't bear to let her cry.
Every girl will possess this personality, she will be bossy, she will be cold to you, she will tell you to go away,
but actually.. in her heart, she wants youto stay..
So please, lift up your ears and open your heart,
listen to her desires and needs in her heart,
but not listen to those stubborn words from her mouth.
She will watch you turn away, then she will turn away
and when she turns away, you won't see her tears,
those are tears in her heart.
So if you love her, please always stay by her side.
If you love her, please dote on her more.
If you love her, please give in more to her.
If you really love her, please listen to her true feelings in her heart,
which is a form of screaming.
Please open your arms and hug her.
In the world of love, both of you always hurt each other, as if only this can prove how much you love each other.
But in love, there is no one who is right or wrong,and no such thinkings of me having more than youor you having less than me.
You love her and she loves you, this is already sufficient,
you don't have to purposely hurt her,causing both of you to be more sad and weak.
What you need in loving each other is being gentle, being happy, being sweet
but not hurting each other.
Don't have cold war, don't be stubborn, not giving into each other,
and please don't leave without saying a word..
You must know, when you leave, you see nothingin your eyes, you don't see the tears in her eyes.
The more quietness, the more cold war, this is hurting each other.
No matter how you patch with her, these scars will always exist, no matter how you try to remove it..
Please give her a hug,
use it to remove the sadness and tears in her heart.
If she loves you, she won't reject your hug,
she will only be afraid of ur coldness and leaving without a word.
So, if you love her,
love her everything so that all those attitude problem will become her cuteness.
She don't need you turning away like she said,
she only need your hug and love..

`Should I follow what my heart says or my mind?

=( )=

Todae had been a great day. Having yvonne ard doing shopping n stuffs. Thanks alot dear. Thanks fer accompanying me walk ard fer so long n fer tolerating the indecisive me. Reali thanks alot. And nidda apologise to peipei, susu, leen n liyi fer my attitude todae. 'Cause I'm really in a rush. Not that I'm unwilling to shop wif u gurls. I wld love to. But todae, I'm really rushing fer time. So sorry.

Wus almost late fer dental appt. hmms. My dentist lyke can't wait to get rid of me lidat. hmms. My appt ended in lyke less than 10 mins? haha. hmms. then walked hm. 'Cause I'm too broke to take cabby lers. ='(

Hmms. Just went online nt too long ago. Sumone familiar msged me. A sumone whom had been too busy fer me. *shrugs* oh wells. If I say I ain't disturbed by what that sumone said, I'm lying. Haha. And I'm always a bad liar. Sheesh. hmms. Its the same thing that has been bothering me all along. Such a coincidence. Oh wells. What can I do? I can oni take a step at a time n hope fer the better? I'm lost. I need sumone badly. ='(

"I tell you i love you every day for fear that tomorrow isn't another" - quoted frm evan's entry *this is how I feel as well*

=D

I am a happy girl.

Met up wif my beloved boyfren ysd. After a longlong wait lahs. *hmmphs* Dun lyke waiting. But I dun haf ane choice. *shrugs* Its lyke I only get to meet him once in a blue moon. *sobx* hais. Hmms. oh wells. I enjoyed myself ysd, nevertheless. =D My boyfren is the best-est!! *hugs* But sadly, time always seems to fly when I'm wif him lorhs. Hours just FLEW passed n he had to drive me home again =( If only..I'm on the top of your priority list.. =(

Hmms. The coming week is goin be a short week. 'Cause friday is a holiday! hmms. But I lyke fridays of all the days lorhs. Its a geography day! Duno why lahs. I just love geog. Heex. Hmms. Oh yarhs. I haf yet to shop fer Shan's bday. Uhoh. DIE! Stil duno what to get her. I'm on a tight budget!! haha.

Gona get to my studying lers. Peipei n my boyfren are starting to worry fer my studies. Can't let them down. Oh yarhs.. In case, I dun get to blog fer the next few days.. Just wana say.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIQUAN!! You'll always be my great guyfren. May all your wishes cum true. And I'm sure you'll get the girl of ur dreams soon..

` Time seems to drag whenever you're not by my side . . .

sadsadsmiley

Paradoxical title.

I am SICK! =`( *sobx*

The worst thing is, Napfa is TML! How great! I'm going to flunk it bad. I can't jump. I can't reach. I can't sprint well enuff. I can't pullup. *sheesh* My PE teacher's going to kill me lahs. And ther's freaking econs test tml. ESSAY test. How cool! -__-

And what's worse is that, I missing him far too much.. =`(

And here's part of my fav song =)

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may, I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face
Lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand
Says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all ...

Post labour day

MY QUACKIEX IS BACK!! I am sosososo happy lahs. alrights. I beta stop showing my gaga-ness over my hellmate. 'cause my beloved boyfren just told me that I sound lesbian-ish. Sobs. How can lidat sae me?!! =((

Life's tiring. I practically lost sleep last night. I din sleep a wink. And right now, my eyes are straining painful. hmms. oh wells. Duno why. Just cldn't get to slp. Perhaps, I am missing him too much? hmms. Hais. Whu asked my boyfren to be so busy?!! argh. *hmmphs*

Anewaes. Todae had geog test. And I actually studied fer it last night. Wahaha. BUT! Ended up my dear handsome geog teacher told me its goin to be an openbook test. How nice! =( All my efforts gone to waste. Lost hope in studying lers. Oh yarhs. I duno whats wrong wif my dumb maths teacher. She just can't teach lahs. Keep on wasting my precious time. Oh my gosh. Now she wana haf maths lessons on saturdae as well. Ther goes my precious weekend. Argh. Haha. I am goin to MUG fer maths and get a B! hmms.. not veri achieveable.. but I'll try ya? But then hors.. World Cup cuming!! Jialat. Think Yvonne's cuming ova to stayover. Heex. Can haf company to watch the matches wif. No longer lonely.=DD

Gona go off n try studying econs. =DD I am a gd gurl. WEE! =DD

`the oni thing I wan fer my birthday is, happiness..

Sunday

Had a good cry last night. Just gotten stretched to the extreme that I just broke down. Hais. I am sorry honey. Didn't mean to take it out on you. I'm sorry. Sunday. I missed service today. Hais. I just got grounded fer today. Sianned.

hmms. Oh wells. Hate to be reminded of my bad memories lorhs. I am sumone whu badly wishes to forget all the shitty-nutty stuffs n hides them all at the back of my head. Hmms. Sumhow, ppl will just unintentionally remind me of them. *cringes in pain* Hmms.. I seriously haf a psychological problem after all that has happened. hais. Insecurity has became a part of me now. And sumtimes, it drives me crazy. Sumtimes, I really wish I wldn't haf that dumb feeling in me. argh. But I can't help much about it. *frustrations* Hate this mans. When will this ever end fer me? =((

I dread the month of May. Year after year, the same stuffs happened. Kinda a routine lers. I'm used to it. *shrugs* Became numbed lers. hmms. Oh wells. Haf decided to get the 200++ bracelet fer mummie. Gona be sososo broke. I wish this year wld be different. I wana be happy, that's all.

busybusyweek

*xin clears the cobwebs n sweep away the dust*

Its been so long since I blogged. Alrights. Though its been oni lyke urms..three days. Haha. Duno why it just feels so long to me. Perhaps, its 'cause too many things are happening bahs. Oh wells. Been feeling veri lethargic recently. Duno why.

Hmms. Ysd Jer came to find me. Wee! Finally lorhs. Haven seen him lyke fer a week n one day till yesterday. You can't imagine how happy I wus lorhs. Ask flor. She saw my expression when I read the msg in which he said he wana cum find me. =D *hapi hapi grin* Haha. I feel so dumb. *shrugs* Am so dumbly in love wif this guy.. =P Watched firewall. Hey. I lyke the movie! haha. though I wus rather slpy thruout. haha. =) i love you dear..

Today's another hapi hapi day! hmms. I had my first pizzahut date with my gorgeous hellmate! *hyperventilates* but before I go into details abt that. I hafta mention the prelude. Haha. Both of us ran out of school lyke two mad women. Two teachers saw us. haha. Kinda dumb. Then we were sweating so unglam-ly. hmms. N we saw the big director at the busstop. N my dear hellmate started to panic. *hmmphs..i m jealous* Haha. She's so cute lahs. =) Alrights. End of prelude. The date wus great =D We practically tok abt everything under the sun. hmms. Crapped wld be a better word. haha. Kept luffing n luffing. People at pizzahut must haf thought that we are mad. We even thought of pulling a prank on the staffs when settling the bill. But too bad, we were in school uniforms. We are good students whu maintain the gd reputation of pjc. Haha. Shared icecream. Hmms. I miss swensens icecream mans!! *argh* Oh yarhs. I forgot that the choc fudge wus at the bottom. N ended up we finished everything then discovered abt the fudge. Geez. And I started fooling wif the fudge. Opps. My hellmate wus so evil lahs. She videoed me down. SEVEN VIDEOS of my dumbness. Omg! I oni got TWO precious ones of her. =D I m the angel, she's the devil. =D She's just sososo cute! haha. Geez. I'm showing signs of lesbianism. Kidding. I'm straight. haha. Oh wells. Its good to see you smiling n enjoying urself =D Dun miss me too much when you're away on ur camp. Though I noe you wld.. just refrain abitbit okays? =D *bhb-ism showing* I LOVE YOU, quackiex =D

hmms. Had quietened dwn quite abit recently. As in, I am less noisy as compared to the usual me. Think von's worried fer me. I'm quite fine lahs. Silence fer others may mean that they're sad or sth. But fer me, I'm thinking. Or rather, I chose to retreat back into my own world. Veri weird, isn't it? I'm not unhappy, yet I'm doing this. Rather contradictory. *shrugs* Oh wells, I tend to be unrealistic at times. Thinking that all will turn out as to what I haf expected and when things doesn't, I'll be utterly upset and stuffs. Immature thinking, you might think. But thats just me. Duno why. I dun lyke the world that we live in. Too much complications. I lyke simplicity. I rather be simple-minded n be ignorant abt all that is happening ard me. There is just too much complications everywhere. And it makes ppl confused n lost. I do too, 'cause I dun understand why things hafta turn out in a certain way n can't accept it as it is. hmms. why can't relationships last forever? why can't ppl stay in love forever? why can't breakups cease to exist? why can't everything just turn out to haf a happy ending? why must things be so unpredictable? why must things change? why must ppl change? why can't one stay happy forever? *argh* alrights. I shall calm dwn. hais. Its partly because of all these that we feel so insecure abt our own future. We're living in a world where everything is unpredictable. Where hypocrites, backstabbers, jerks n bastards exist. Hah. Scary world. =( argh. I dun even noe what the hell am I toking abt anemore. I shldn't be feeling this way abt things. By right, I shld be lyking these situations, 'cause I'm a risktaker. Perhaps, its 'cause I've gotten too sick n tired of these complicated challenges in life.. too tired to get hurt.. too tired to endure ane heartbreaks.. too tired to deal wif things bahs.. Perhaps, thats why I wana stay in my own world.. where everything is simple n happy=)

`I have this dream..wishing that I can be always happy with the one whu truly loves me..

back frm night jaunt

Hmms. Am back frm night jaunt. Hmms. Kinda tiring but I had fun! Serious. Though the night jaunt wusn't really a gd success. Oh wells. But one good thing is, everyone had their fair share of fun. Night jaunt ended wif everyone feeling tired but happy. hmms. Night safari wus fun as usual. haha. Took quite a number of pics. hmms. Kelvin's super cute. Hah. Orights. I know this shldn't be cuming frm me. But haha, can't help it. He's a super nice guy to chat wif. Super gentlemanly too. Omg. Haha. Shucks. My weakness got discovered by fen during the night safari. =S hmms. Had Ben&Jerry's too. Yummielicious. haha. Kelvin got a bigger scoop than all of us. Hmmphs. So unfair. hmms. Supper at East Coast Lagoon is great! haha. Wus so darn full lahs. hmms. Too bad we din had time to go check out the Carpark C fer free shows. Tsk! hmms. Changi Village wus erms.. ok lahs.. Kinda got affected by kelvin. Hmms. He felt upset fer them. Went Red House.. but it started pouring then we had to retreat to Geylang. The driver wus super pissed off. And so, I bought soya beancurd fer the driver. Hmms. Went back to Red hse N Old Changi Hospital. Not really freaky lahs. Last stop wus @ the cemetery before we set off back to school. Den it wus home sweet home fer me.

Alrights. I just woke up not long ago. hmms. Still feeling lethargic. Hmms. I know I just pissed off my bf wif my attitude. Hais. Can't help it. I am really feeling veri cranky 'cause I am not able to see him till until.. maeb nxt sat? hais. I'm a hopeless attention seeker. Hais. *shrugs* I'm sorry dear. I din mean to do it. Forgive me?

The day before night jaunt

Am feeling much much beta now. Thanks nessa fer listening to my bullshit. haha. Thanks to my ever so sweet n great boyfren too. Thanks fer taking time out to call me. Hmms. Oh wells. I'm so much better now. Hmms. But I think I am falling sick lers. Having a bad headache. Must be due to getting drenched frm the rain. Heex. I dun lyke bringing umbrella out with me de. yi ge ren cheng san shi hen ji mo de...

Todae's ok day. PE wus TOUGH!! Had five rounds of obstacles course. Sum ppl just look so ridiculous doing them. Haha. I mite be one of them *shrugs* =P hmms. hmms. Rushed to lotone after sch wif flor to avoid being stuck in sch if it rains. Slacked at MAC. hmms. Told flor sum stories. Haha. So funny. hmms. Den pei flor take bus to boonlay fer her bible studies.. N I took the train back to cck. During my journey to boonlay n back to cck, I wus typing a story on my hp. Haha. In cheena. Thats why it took me so long. Just gt the urge to type a nice story. Hmms. Sent to david's hp fer leen n forwarded it to flor too. I just love the story. Just nw read the story to dear. but dun tink he lykes it lahs. I think it must haf sounded real dumb to him lorhs. hais. oh wells. =)

Night Jaunt's tml lers. Omg! so scary. Fer a perfectionist lyke me, I wished that all turns out fine n everyone wld haf lotsa fun. Hais.. too bad my dear wun be ther wif me.. no matter how much I wish.. =(((

xin is useless

I purposely created a password fer my blog fer ppl whu are really close to read my entries. hmms. Am feeling sad nw. 'Cause of what happen to my gd fren. argh. Hmms. Dun wry abt it, girl. Its oni natural that I feel this way. =)

Sumhow, looking at things now, brings back alot of stuffs. All that I haf been thru. The heartaches, the non-stop crying. As well as the tots that went thru my mind during that dark period. Girl, you aren't alone. It's only natural to think of such tots. To feel lost, confused n even the tots of dying. But think abt it. Are those tots worthed put into action? Think abt the consequences. Think abt how ur frens n family wld feel. You've gotta be strong fer them. Just rmb that you'll always have ppl, frens, family members whu really care. If there's anething, just find sumone to tok to. Don't ever worry about troubling ppl. Its not good to keep things bottled up. I used to do it. And I regretted it. 'Cause I nearly died of depression. Rmb that there'll always be us standing by you. Thats what makes u so different frm me. Don't ever think of doing anything stupid. Its not going to make things better. It might just worsen things. My dear girl, rmb that we love you =) God makes things happen fer a reason. Haf faith, dear=)

Hmms. If I were to say, I ain't affected by this all. I wld be lying. Haha. *shrugs* I feel sumthing special between me n my dear girl. Sth reali special. Sth that oni besties share. A ever so special bond. hmms. Of course, I wld feel insecurity right now. But I know, thats not going to help things. I shld haf faith n trust, even if I don't haf in myself, I shld be trusting my other half. Hmms. Sumhow, I feel that, if the same things were to happen to me all over again, I wldn't know what to do. All I know is that, I wld be very lost. And so, I pray hard that, I wun hafta go thru all those again. I hope. =X

I feel so soso guilty. Fer not being able to help though I haf the same experience. Or rather, worse. Just follow ur heart, my dear. Dun lose ur faith due to circumstances. You're a rational girl, frm what I haf always known you to be. Promise me, that you'll gona be all well n happy soon kays? =) I'll pray fer you=)

`I can never imagine life w/o you. I'm feeling scared n insecured right now.

blueyblueymondae

Think I'm having the monday blues as usual=( Kinda feeling rather melancholy quite recently. Duno why. *shrugs* Perhaps, it's just me thinking too much bahs. hais. oh wells. Now fer updates.

Went church service wif flor ysd. The drama wus nice. Haha. Heard frm cheuk that she got freaked out by the actor's shouting in front of her. haha. So funny. Hmms. Den hung ard expo to look at sum exhibits, n not forgetting the johnlittle sale. Haha. Sumhw stil duno understand what's so fascinating abt that sale. Lols. Din see anething that I lyke. haha. Den dragged flor go bugis wif me to shop. Couldn't find the stuffs that I wanted so badly. Shucks. ='(

Todae's a boring boring monday. I'm especially cranky todae. Practically slpt thru most of my lessons. Geez. Feel lyke a piggie now. haha. PE's extremely exhausting todae. haha. todae's nt a gd day=(

sum things are really not meant to be spoken abt. hais. else it might just worsen things. And so, it just did. Hate this type of stuffs. Made me so emotionally-drained. I m veri veri veri tired. But yet, nth cld be done abt it. I just feel so out of this world. Lyke my quackies, sumtimes, I just find life so utterly boring n sucky. lols. Can't help it. I shld b more optimistic. Haha. Tml's gona be a better day! *prays hard*

`when I dun question/say a thing, it doesn't mean I don't care; it just means that I care too much to nt interfere . . .